Business
Elon Musk: Enigmatic, Visionary Billionaire That Thrives On Contradictions
May 12, 2022
July 17, 2024
The Donald Trump-Elon Musk alliance is finally on, after an awkward courtship in which each curiously stalked the other.
Musk, CEO of Tesla, has reportedly pledged to donate $45 million per month to a new political action committee that will work to get Trump elected to a second term as president in this year’s election. If Musk follows through, and the funding continues through November, it could make Musk the biggest political donor in American history.
That could be just the beginning for Musk and Trump. They’re certainly an odd couple with glaring differences. Musk is a climate change apostle, for instance, trying to solve global warming with the Tesla electric vehicles that have made him the world’s richest person. Trump is a climate change denier who lampoons EVs and wants to subsidize gas-powered cars.
Eh, details. At a more cosmic level, Trump and Musk share a disdain for authority and for woke sensibilities. Each courts controversy, with an uncanny ability to promote himself by picking fights and insulting the right people. They’re both businessmen with a mastery of marketing hyperbole and entrepreneurial moxie. A no-limits partnership could be in the offing.
Here are seven new ways Trump and Musk could move ahead now that they’ve joined forces.
This would be the premium version of Musk’s pathbreaking pickup thingy, starting at $250,000. There would be gold everywhere, of course, plus flags, thumbs, and Trump’s iconic signature woven into the upholstery. A future amphibious version will be shark-proof and unsinkable.
Aka, the CyberBeast. This will replace the current presidential limo, known as the Beast, which is a boring old Cadillac. The CyberBeast, an extended version of the Cybertruck, will feature 12-wheel drive, a helicopter landing pad, a driving range, and an Elon Musk bobblehead mounted on the dash.
Tesla can easily downscale its electric vehicle technology to build a fleet of carts that will be the official mode of transportation at every Trump resort. Branded, of course, as the Cybercart.
As part of its mission to Mars, Musk’s SpaceX will provide the Trump Organization with the galaxy’s first development opportunities on the Red Planet, starting with a blended commercial-residential complex featuring amazing views of Jupiter and stopover space services for any able to pay. Trump Mars opens as early as 2045!
Known as the Trusk Loophole. With full control of Congress in 2025, Republicans will pass a special tax exemption for Americans so grand that their mere existence betters humanity. To qualify, one must be either the richest American or the most aggrieved American, as determined by Vice President J.D. Vance.
Musk’s X and Trump’s Truth Social will merge to form a social media colossus with only two accounts: Donald Trump and Elon Musk. Everybody will have to retweet everything Trump and Musk say, or else the IRS will audit them.
This Trump-Musk joint venture would be a laboratory for the two iconoclasts to experiment with improving democracy, managing dictators, stopping viruses at the US border, and cloning themselves. Shares would be available to the public under an innovative structure in which Trump and Musk each have a 51% ownership stake. If that doesn’t seem to add up, you may not be ready for the next four years.
